Tuesday, September 20, 2011

the perfect guest...


I have been indulging in a little girl chat lately and one of the subjects of our conversations has been the thought of the 'perfect guest'. How to be a good hostess is something I reflect on but the flip side is not one I have pondered much. How do we behave as the 'perfect guest' and what makes for a 'perfect guest'?....A difficult topic as everyone's idea of perfection is not the same...here are some snatches of our chit chat....

'Listen to your host and hostess....be intuitive and sensitive to how their household runs...'
'Help when asked...but don't ask too many questions ...the where do you want this and the how shall I do this are just as annoying as no help at all....'
'Be engaging and entertaining...that is the why of the invitation........'
'Gauge the intimacy of conversation....personal problems only rear their heads in the right kind of atmosphere......'
'Follow the leader....if it's early to bed and early to rise...then that's the timetable....'

A guest has a duel role...to not only enjoy themselves but also to ensure that the hosts do too. This is what many forget...to be a guest in someone's home is a privilege...It is not the same as staying in a hotel...nothing should be taken for granted and demands should be few....A seasoned guest knows the taste and style of his hosts and buys gifts that are appropriate....Nothing too confrontational that will have to be dispersed with or hidden after you leave.... nothing that will have them worrying about your feelings instead of their own....a hostess gift is all about what your host will love not what you are desperate to have.... 

Making sure you are the 'perfect guest' is never easy as every household beats to a different drum no matter how good the friendship is. Sometimes the closer the friend the more difficult it is to stay in each other's company. This is not an indication that the friendship is weak but more a sign that personalities are different. How often have you stayed with a 'best' friend only to feel that the visit has not gone as well as you hoped....there is a subtle disconnect...something not quite right....you just can't put your finger on it...the friendship is solid and still intact, yet you are reluctant to plan another holiday together. Co-habiting is tough on any level and as a guest there is an extra level of pressure to ensure that the visit runs smoothly and happily. Being invited is one thing....being invited back is the true test.

Is there such a thing as the 'perfect guest'?.....After writing this....I don't think so....Who are your 'perfect' guests....What makes them so special? ......xv

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